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Steve’s Story
 Steve is a 2005
Graduate of Transition House, Inc.’s Transitional Living Program.
Steve was born in 1973 in Peoria, Illinois.
His mother, a 14 year old unwed girl.
After he was born, Steve entered the foster care system.
He bounced from one foster home to another until the age of 17.
Some homes were good. Others
were bad experiences that brought back memories that Steve is ready to forget.
The longest in any home was 3 years – most of the stays were less than
1 year. At 17, Steve hit the
streets. After being on the streets
for a short time, he returned to a foster home to finish school so he could
graduate from high school. Once he
graduated, he decided he wanted to find his mother.
He heard she was in South Carolina, so he went there to track her down.
He described the meeting as weird. In talking with his mother, he found out his father was in
prison for manslaughter. He was 18
when Steve was born – his mother, 14. When
he met his mother, she was working in at dry cleaners, drinking, and living in a
trailer. She looked much older than
her age – it was obvious she had a rough life.
The visit was about a half a day. Steve
said he didn’t expect much – he just wanted to see her face and meet the
woman who gave birth to him.
Steve stayed in South Carolina on and off for about ten years.
He lived between there and Florida.
During that time, Steve was in a band and also worked as an electrician.
In 1996, Steve got married. They
met in a bar – he said it was doomed from the beginning.
Both were drinking a lot at that point.
About four or five months after they met, they got married.
Then three months after they were married, his wife became pregnant. Steve’s first son was born in 1997. A year later, his second son was born. Steve stopped drinking after his first son was born.
He said he was a horrible drunk. He
hoped to encourage his wife to stop drinking, but it didn’t work.
They divorced in 1998 or 1999 and she moved to Florida and Steve was in
South Carolina.
According to Steve, the bad downward cycle of drugs, homelessness, and anger
really began at that point. In around 2001, he and his wife tried to reconcile.
He was homeless frequently during this time.
They’d try to patch things up, but when it didn’t work, she’d kick
him out. In 2002, she moved to
Oklahoma. Steve followed in 2003.
He was lured to Oklahoma under false pretenses.
He was told his ex-wife was killed in a car accident.
He came to Oklahoma for his boys and found out, she was not only ok, but
wasn’t even in a wreck. She was lonely. They
tried again to reconcile. That
lasted about four months. During
that time, Steve was staying at friends’ houses – but mostly, he was on the
streets of Norman. His children
were in Noble and he went there as often as he could – he’d either walk or
ride his bike to see his boys.
During the summer of 2004, Steve lived in the library during the day and at
St. John’s Church courtyard at night – sleeping on the benches.
At times, he would stay at the Salvation Army, but those stays were
limited. He was at his lowest point
of depression and struggling with social anxiety disorder.
In mid-July 2004, Steve met some people who lived at Transition House, Inc.
He started to visit them at the apartments and would come to the Drop-In
Center to hang out, watch television, and stay cool.
Steve hadn’t worked in a couple of months, and about the only thing
that kept him going were his two boys.
The staff found out that Steve was hanging around the apartments and asked
to meet him. The first meeting was
mostly casual conversation. The
staff didn’t realize Steve was homeless and living at St. John’s courtyard
across from the Transition House, Inc., office.
After several weeks, one of the clients told the staff about Steve’s
situation. Staff asked to meet with
Steve again. Up until that point,
Steve had never received any mental health services.
And the only other services he had received were some emergency food
stamps. During all those years, he survived on his own.
When the staff began talking with Steve, it became evident that he needed
mental health services and encouraged him to go to Central Oklahoma Community
Mental Health Center for an evaluation. Staff
was able to place him in the Crisis Bed for a few days while the determination
was made as to whether he could qualify for the Transitional Living Program.
Steve was diagnosed with PTSD, Social Anxiety Disorder, and Depression.
In August 2004, Steve moved off the streets and began as a client in the
Transitional Living Program at Transition House, Inc.
When Steve first began the program, he described himself as a “train
wreck waiting for a place to happen!” He
was depressed, angry, and social anxiety was very high because of the sense of
worthlessness that he felt.
His process of recovery took time. There were points – key moments – that helped to boost
Steve’s recovery. A particular
meeting with Jeanene Davidson, LCSW, Clinical Director at Transition House,
Inc., stood out for Steve. He also
found the Cognitive Behavior Therapy with Dr. Harry Boyd really significant.
For Steve, just getting into the program – being able to correct his
life situation and not continue the cycle was a significant part of his
recovery. Steve began to learn to
trust others. He also learned about
respect – for himself and for others.
(Steve with Leaster, one of the students who worked on the
"Directions" project)
In October 2004, Steve and Bonnie Dunn, Executive Director of Transition
House, Inc., went to OU to talk
with a class about homelessness. For
someone with a social anxiety disorder, this was a huge step.
Then in November, Steve joined with students from OU to begin work on
“Directions” – a map and flyer to help homeless people get to food and
shelter. By that point, Steve was
beginning to gain his confidence and didn’t feel as embarrassed.
His experiences with speaking and meeting others helped him to realize
his life experiences could possibly become something that could someday help
others.
(Steve opening his Christmas gift December 2004)
In late winter 2005, Steve found a job at a local restaurant.
Having his confidence built up and some improved communications skilled
allowed Steve to move into a management position with the restaurant.
Even though the restaurant changed hands, Steve stayed on and became a
manager at the new restaurant – Ruby’s Diner on Campus Corner.
(Steve found the Music Wellness very helpful while he was in the Transitional
Living Program)
In November 2005, Steve graduated from the Transitional Living Program and
moved into his own apartment above the Diner.
He’ll now have his own home with space for his boys to come and stay
with him when they visit. All and all, he’s living a “normal life.“
As for the future – he hopes to maintain a good
relationship with his children and be able to give back to the community that
helped him get back on his feet. At
some point, he hopes to go to college. He’s
trying not to rush and do everything at once.
So now, it is time to live, just like anyone else in our community.
Steve has a home, a job and a sense of self-respect that was missing most
of his life.
All of us at Transition House, Inc., are proud of Steve and his hard work
and success. His story is one of many - a story of someone who traveled a
hard road, but found his way to a new sense of hope and happiness with a little
help from Transition House, Inc. Thanks Steve for sharing your story with
all of us!
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